On the one hand, we here at Ides HQ are loath to push our quaint book reading experiment too quickly. After all, the sooner we finish up here, the less time for you to donate to our Book Wagon fund to buy books for children.
Then again, the hoops tourney finale is coming right up. And we don't want to stretch too far into April with our grand event, because we know you'll be off to different, maybe better, things. Like gardening. And drift racing your sweet Honda NSX. Or whatever.
So we're doing our Ides best to<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>
ACK...SQUAWK... THIS IS A GENERAL SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: THERE WAS A BREAK-IN AT IDES HQ YESTERDAY AT APPROXIMATELY 1500 HOURS. THE IDES OF MARCH MADNESS SECURE DATA SERVERS (I.E. Our MacBook) WERE VIOLENTLY REMOVED FROM OUR MAXIMUM SECURITY OFFICES (I.E. A 1999 Volvo Station Wagon left locked in the parking lot for, seriously, 10 minutes).
AUTHORITIES HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED AND THE AREA IS BEING CANVASSED. DUE TO THE SENSITIVE NATURE OF THE INVESTIGATION, WE ARE NOT OFFERING STATEMENTS TO THE MEDIA AT THIS TIME. AS SOON AS WE HAVE REVIEWED OUR BACKUP DATA (and called Jenn Northington, our Ides champion at The King's English to compare notes) WE WILL RESUME OUR TOURNAMENT POSTING SCHEDULE AND ANNOUNCE THE NEXT ROUND MATCHES AND JUDGES.
WE SINCERELY REGRET THIS TEMPORARY TOURNAMENT SETBACK, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE GOT RIPPED OFF PARTLY AS A RESULT OF BEING CARELESS. HOWEVER, THE IDES COMMITTEE HAS CONFERRED WITH NUMEROUS G20 SUMMIT OFFICIALS, AND WE DO ANTICIPATE THAT WE WILL IN FACT REMAIN ABLE TO COMPLETE THE TOURNAMENT ON TIME AND UNDER BUDGET. THEN AGAIN, THIS IS A VOLUNTEER EFFORT TO RAISE FUNDS FOR A NONPROFIT, SO WE THANK YOU FOR HANGING IN THERE WITH US.
WHILE "Procrastination is the Thief of Time" (EDWARD YOUNG), THE IDES EFFORT IS FURTHER BAMBOOZLED THIS WEEK BY LOWLY COMMON CRIMINALS. THE PRACTICAL EFFECT OF WHICH IS THAT WE HAVE TO GET THE CAR WINDOW FIXED AND BUY A NEW COMPUTER.
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, IDES OFFICIALS WERE FURTHER DEFRAUDED OF APPROXIMATELY $100 WORTH OF VERY BAD HIP-HOP AND RAP DOWNLOADS AT iTunes BEFORE WE COULD GET ALL OF THE DARN PASSWORDS RESET.
In all seriousness, it's been a suck-y day at the Ides of March Madness Tournament, but we hope to be back to half steam ahead by Friday morning. Any doubts as to the veracity of this announcement should be immediately put to rest by a cursory review of prior tournament posts on this weblog, which should indicate that we could never have invented this story.<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>end transmission...
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